I will start will something rather exciting..... The theory of Law of Attraction. Put out into the universe what you really want, put forth postive energy and action and exactly what you want will manifest into your life. Well people I'm here to tell you, its real.
Just for kicks, I logged onto Craigslist yesterday to check out people wanting to rent houses in the ATL. Not tomorrow, or next month but sometime in the summer. Guess what, a couple moving here for 28 months from San Diego need a house near/ easy to get to Emory. Looking for exactly what we have. They will be here 2nd week in March to meet us and view our fabulous house.
We went house hunting again today, got lost again. We really need to buy a map.
It's fun, looking at these homes that we used to only dream about. Guess, this puts our plan into a higher gear of action!!!!!
Loving it. Deal is not sealed of course, but what is the likely hood someone needs exactly what we have when we want to move by. Go figure.
So with that...... I am a bit dismayed by my father. I asked him Saturday if he would consider meeting me in D.C. in May for the ALS advocacy day and congressional hearings. I even volunteered to pay for hotel and half of his airfare. He called me tonight, after telling my sister yesterday that he couldn't do it. His wedding anniversary is thursday, the day he would go home. And he has plans for the weekend. His words: "That Washington thing, I can't go." In a tone that negotiating was not an option. I simply said, "oh, ok, no problem."
Yes, I realize perhaps I am being selfish, but hello, I do have a terminal illness and I am not getting better. My left leg is weakening at an alarming rate and just thought maybe, just maybe I would be important enough for him to spend time with me.
He said he would come more often, guess thats not going to happen. Again, I just have "To Be."
Funny thing is, I am sad, but not surprised.
Thats it for today..... I am off to dream of my new home that awaits........
I am glad I lived today.
B & L
T
My feelings are hurt.
19.2.07
16.2.07
Thoughts.....
By Nelson Mandela
Our deepest fear
is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant,
georgous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God
that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it's in Everyone!
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others!
I came across the above poem today. A friend sent it to me awhile back and I just kept her email. These words are also featured in the movie Akeelah and the Bee.
I am having somewhat of a difficult period in my life and am searching for the strength to find peace within my self. Dreams of the picture perfect life, yes perhaps I secretly wanted to be Bree Van de Camp, Desperate housewives, but I also just thought my life would somehow end up differently.
Not that it is over, I still have a ways to go, but I do see the end coming faster than slower. The progression has increased quite a bit in the last month. My left leg is really getting hard to move. Grief enters the body through the left side. And i have been greiving for so long, the loss of my mom, the loss of my personal independence and finally the loss of a relationship that has been over for neary 8 years. Admitting and being honest with myself has been quite a battle. The sense of failure has loomed so close to my head for so long. Until now, I didn't realize it wasn't me who failed. somethings just don't work out. For what ever reason. I have to forgive, move on and live the best way I know how.
I write this as a personal reminder.... Tomorrow is the beginning of another chance to give, share, laugh and love.
Live life like you mean it.
B & L
T
Our deepest fear
is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant,
georgous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God
that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it's in Everyone!
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others!
I came across the above poem today. A friend sent it to me awhile back and I just kept her email. These words are also featured in the movie Akeelah and the Bee.
I am having somewhat of a difficult period in my life and am searching for the strength to find peace within my self. Dreams of the picture perfect life, yes perhaps I secretly wanted to be Bree Van de Camp, Desperate housewives, but I also just thought my life would somehow end up differently.
Not that it is over, I still have a ways to go, but I do see the end coming faster than slower. The progression has increased quite a bit in the last month. My left leg is really getting hard to move. Grief enters the body through the left side. And i have been greiving for so long, the loss of my mom, the loss of my personal independence and finally the loss of a relationship that has been over for neary 8 years. Admitting and being honest with myself has been quite a battle. The sense of failure has loomed so close to my head for so long. Until now, I didn't realize it wasn't me who failed. somethings just don't work out. For what ever reason. I have to forgive, move on and live the best way I know how.
I write this as a personal reminder.... Tomorrow is the beginning of another chance to give, share, laugh and love.
Live life like you mean it.
B & L
T
6.2.07
Yesterday.....
Okay so the Colts won the Super Bowl. Who cares??? Lots of people I guess. I happen not to be one of them, think its crazy the way grown folks act over a game. Over sized 12 year old boys being paid handsomely to Play A Game!
My mind wandered a lot today. Yesterday was my mother's birthday and after 5 years my heart still pauses heavily. Last night, I meditated chanting Elohim for 20 mintues or so.... Felt relaxed and uplifted. I asked the Divine to send her to me in my dreams, just for a small chat, or even a glimse would do, no such pleasure. However, my sister called to tell me of her strange dream first thing this morning. My mother was in her dream, behaving like a drunken, life of the party girl, in a bowling alley bar. I suggested perhaps that our dear mother was trying to send her a message in the very clear reversal of personalities.
Not sure if she got it, or pretended not to listen because she didn't answer or acknowledge what I said. Typical.
I am almost finished reading Barack Obama's novel "Dreams from my Father". Highly recommend this one. His life, his inner struggles so poetically written. It captured me from the first page. I love a good read.
So people out in cyberworld..... I ask this. Is the United States of America, land of the free, ready for a Black Man to be President? And if you read the book, you will get a candid glimpse of his life. He certainly admitted to usage of illegal drugs, will he be judged more critically than Clinton, who did not "INHALE." Most likely. He is after all a Black politician in the White man's house.
I find him to be a true soul, who told his story and has paved his own way into our history and pop culture. He crosses lines that few black men have been able to do. Not because of lack of desire, but because White America simply was not ready for Blacks to at the very least be equal.
He is handsome, nonthreatening in appearance and falls into a clean shaven articulate category.
Blacks view of the single word articulate a slam. I don't blame them. Stereotypes are what keep us divided.
Do i think he has a chance for the White House? Yes. If played right, he could use his South African Father's History, his White American mother's roots and bring a nation to it's knees. I have a Dream, that one day we will all be considered worthy first and judged only by our efforts or lack thereof.
A simple dream where religion, skin colour, and class of citizenship wouldn't hinder potential friendships, partnerships, and unions.
It is a shame to claim you are free, when your mind has been programmed to discriminate without even realizing it.
Open your heart instead of your eyes, the soul has no boundaries.
B & L
T
My mind wandered a lot today. Yesterday was my mother's birthday and after 5 years my heart still pauses heavily. Last night, I meditated chanting Elohim for 20 mintues or so.... Felt relaxed and uplifted. I asked the Divine to send her to me in my dreams, just for a small chat, or even a glimse would do, no such pleasure. However, my sister called to tell me of her strange dream first thing this morning. My mother was in her dream, behaving like a drunken, life of the party girl, in a bowling alley bar. I suggested perhaps that our dear mother was trying to send her a message in the very clear reversal of personalities.
Not sure if she got it, or pretended not to listen because she didn't answer or acknowledge what I said. Typical.
I am almost finished reading Barack Obama's novel "Dreams from my Father". Highly recommend this one. His life, his inner struggles so poetically written. It captured me from the first page. I love a good read.
So people out in cyberworld..... I ask this. Is the United States of America, land of the free, ready for a Black Man to be President? And if you read the book, you will get a candid glimpse of his life. He certainly admitted to usage of illegal drugs, will he be judged more critically than Clinton, who did not "INHALE." Most likely. He is after all a Black politician in the White man's house.
I find him to be a true soul, who told his story and has paved his own way into our history and pop culture. He crosses lines that few black men have been able to do. Not because of lack of desire, but because White America simply was not ready for Blacks to at the very least be equal.
He is handsome, nonthreatening in appearance and falls into a clean shaven articulate category.
Blacks view of the single word articulate a slam. I don't blame them. Stereotypes are what keep us divided.
Do i think he has a chance for the White House? Yes. If played right, he could use his South African Father's History, his White American mother's roots and bring a nation to it's knees. I have a Dream, that one day we will all be considered worthy first and judged only by our efforts or lack thereof.
A simple dream where religion, skin colour, and class of citizenship wouldn't hinder potential friendships, partnerships, and unions.
It is a shame to claim you are free, when your mind has been programmed to discriminate without even realizing it.
Open your heart instead of your eyes, the soul has no boundaries.
B & L
T
3.2.07
February 3, 07
My need to vent has eased up in the 5 hours since I fell off the toilet and had to have Jocelyn help me pull my panties up before I asked her to go get Rodney to pick me off the bathroom floor. The last few days have been spent in deep thought.
First, I have all these plans to create a successful awareness Advocacy Day at the State Capital in May. Secondly, that any woman diagnosed with a terminal illness, disease, something that takes away personal hygiene ability be allowed to by pass insurance issues and get a hysterectomy. Sounds a bit weird, but trust me, any woman will tell you having a period every month sucks and that's just the way life is. We have it for about 3/4 of our lives and deal with the cycle as best we can. Some are plagued with painful cramps, others lasting too long! None are pleasant and only welcomed when an err in judgement occurs.
So with that in mind, Woman "have" to take care of this part of being female. However, when disease strikes and personal Independence taken this task must be performed by a caregiver, usually the husband or companion.
The ultimate test, next to giving birth, of humility.
Even though I still control all of my personal needs, I do see a day not so far away that demands assistance. Meditating alot on this one.
My Mother's birthday is Monday Feb. 5th. Ironic, 5 years since she has been gone. The stabbing pain in my heart has eased, but the chronic sadness of missing my Mom still remains......
T
First, I have all these plans to create a successful awareness Advocacy Day at the State Capital in May. Secondly, that any woman diagnosed with a terminal illness, disease, something that takes away personal hygiene ability be allowed to by pass insurance issues and get a hysterectomy. Sounds a bit weird, but trust me, any woman will tell you having a period every month sucks and that's just the way life is. We have it for about 3/4 of our lives and deal with the cycle as best we can. Some are plagued with painful cramps, others lasting too long! None are pleasant and only welcomed when an err in judgement occurs.
So with that in mind, Woman "have" to take care of this part of being female. However, when disease strikes and personal Independence taken this task must be performed by a caregiver, usually the husband or companion.
The ultimate test, next to giving birth, of humility.
Even though I still control all of my personal needs, I do see a day not so far away that demands assistance. Meditating alot on this one.
My Mother's birthday is Monday Feb. 5th. Ironic, 5 years since she has been gone. The stabbing pain in my heart has eased, but the chronic sadness of missing my Mom still remains......
T
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